What is involved in being a Host Family?

If you should decide to be a host family, you may request a boy or girl and may specify an age range.  Children are aged 7-16, but most new children are aged from 7-9.  All children are healthy and from families (no orphans), and are chosen based on their proximity to radioactive areas, their financial status, and their good behavior in school.

You may take your child on vacation with you, but we ask that you refrain from going out of town for the first 2 weeks, as this is when most of the appointments are scheduled.

The most important role of the host family is to provide the visiting Belarusian child with day-to-day care in a loving and stable environment. A host family should model the love of Christ in all they do.

Provide lots of wholesome food, fresh clean air and the love that will make them feel at home in a foreign country so different from their own.  

Undoubtedly, the true pleasures of Raleigh for these children are the simple ones, many of which they have been restricted from doing in their home country. They love to swim (agreed by all host parents to be the #1 favorite pastime) and they love to ride bicycles and play cards. Unlike many of our own children, they do not need the countless toys and trappings of our materialistic society. Driving through an automatic car wash or getting take-out food at the drive-through at McDonald's are unbelievable thrills. This, of course, provides an excellent lesson for our own children.

It's a good idea for host families to participate in most or all of the group's planned summer activities, which allow the child to speak his or her own language and play with friends from home.

The host churches often provide funding for costs of health insurance, visas, passports, airfare and local transportation, and interpreter costs. 

The host family is required to provide basic living costs and transportation to and from appointments and group events. A clothing closet will be organized to allow the kids to choose from a variety of donated clothing, as most new kids will not bring much clothing with them.

In the event of an illness, accident or emergency, host families should seek the immediate help of the Belarusian interpreter and the group leader.  The program provides a group health insurance policy for each child. This covers major medical expenses in the event of accident or illness.  Most minor illness will be handled by Raleigh Pediatrics or North Raleigh Pediatrics at no charge.  There is a $250 deductible on the insurance policy. In the rare event that there are medical expenses not covered by Raleigh Pediatrics / North Raleigh Pediatrics, the host family is expected to cover the deductible (unless other arrangements are made in advance).

Language

All children speak Russian.  Some can also speak Belarussian, a dialect of Russian which blends Russian and many Polish words. The younger children (7-9) will probably speak no English.  From ages 10 and up, they will most likely study English in school, and may understand a little. Many of the repeat children (that have been here before, and are older) can speak English pretty well, and can help translate during group events, etc.

A few points to consider:

• You will become very skilled at charades before the summer is over!
• You will rediscover games that don't require language (see photo)

• You will be amazed at how quickly they will pick up English, especially comprehension. In a few weeks, they will be understanding basic commands and have a pretty good working vocabulary
• Russian classes will be offered for the host families prior to their arrival. While speaking Russian is not a pre-requisite, basic knowledge of some key words and phrases can be very helpful. We will also distribute papers with common words and phrases that you can keep with you at all times.  We recommend picking up a pocket Russian-English dictionary (available at Barnes & Noble, Borders, etc for about $6)
• English classes will be given to the children on a weekly basis, in order to help them improve their conversational skills
• Adult interpreters attend all group events and doctor/dentist appointments. They are on call 24x7 in case of language issues.

Arrival

Gift giving is a very important part of the Belarusian culture and the children always arrive with something special for their host families. In return, if you wish to give "your child" something, popular gifts for the Belarusian child include Barbie dolls for the girls and Lego and baseball caps for the boys, brightly colored T-shirts, etc.

Most of the children arrive extremely tired. It may be their first time away from home and the length of the trip takes an understandable toll on such young bodies. Many of the children seem to have a problem with motion sickness and will have been ill on the airplane as well as the buses and cars bringing them to Raleigh.

The program will arrange a brief meeting with the interpreter either on the first day of arrival or the next day. On this visit general information can be exchanged by asking the children if he has allergies? Are they afraid of animals? Do they get carsick? Names? Nicknames? Brothers and sisters? Family needs?, etc. Ask if there is anything your child would like to see or try while in Raleigh.

Once home, the child will most likely want to unpack right away. In most cases the luggage contains more gifts than clothes and the children want to present them immediately to their hosts. If you are helping your child to unpack, check for food he might have brought.

Offer a shower or bath for your guest, showing him the soap, a towel and a supply of fresh clothes. After the bath offer a light snack and then get her off to bed. You will be pleasantly surprised the next morning by a much more relaxed and excited child.

Don't overdo the activities in the first week, it is very tempting. Try to remember how overwhelming and over-stimulating our lives, customs and material wealth are for these children. Try to get a few of the Belarusian children together in the first week or two during the scheduled activities so they can see that their friends are O.K. and they can share impressions in their own language. Many of the first-time visiting children may not know any of their traveling companions. They may also be able to exchange phone numbers if it is not long distance. A phone call can be a great cure for homesickness.

Bathroom and Grooming Habits

Buy a toothbrush and toothpaste for your child before he arrives - he will most likely not have one. Encourage him to brush his teeth regularly.

As soon as possible show the child the toilet and flush some paper down. By hand signals you should be able to make it clear that in Raleigh toilet paper can go down the toilet, but nothing else. In some parts of Belarus, their system cannot handle toilet paper, so it is usually discarded in the wastepaper basket. (Editor's note:  While we've heard this repeatedly by other similar projects, we have not had this problem with our kids...)

Another important point to get across is that soap is not rationed in Raleigh. This means washing and changing underwear daily is part of normal hygiene. Show her where her soiled clothes should go and let her know you will do her laundry. As her visit progresses, you will want to show her the washer and dryer. Most of the children find this quite interesting.

Food and Mealtimes

The Belarusian diet includes many potatoes (cooked in a million different ways), many pickled items-and plenty of fried, greasy, fatty food. Belarussians are not used to salads or raw vegetables, and have little access to fruits. Bananas, fruit juices, watermelon, peaches are rare treats for the children and many will make up for years of shortages at one sitting. With a plentiful supply of these fruits and other good foods, many host families literally watch their children "bloom". The color comes out in their cheeks and almost all go home many pounds heavier.

Most of the children have wonderful manners, some don't. Have an interpreter explain which behaviors are not acceptable in your household and why. A common problem is children leaving the table before everyone has finished. This is because in many Belarusian families, the children are allowed to roam around during mealtimes. Children may or may not be familiar with familiar with grace being said at the table.

Bed

Many families may have problems getting the children to bed at night (and subsequently out of bed in the morning!). Some problems are universal! In Belarus children may not go to bed until their parents do. In many cases, this is because the living area doubles as a bedroom. One girl was up and dressed every morning, but did not come out of her room until her host mother knocked on the door to see if she was awake. The host mother managed to explain that she could sleep in and come down for breakfast whenever she wanted. If they had an early appointment, she would be told the night before that she had to get up early.

Using the Phone

If you allow the children to use the phone, show them which numbers they may call. One boy called 911 because it was written on the phone. If this happens or you have reason to believe it may happen, have an interpreter explain that calling 911 under false pretenses is a serious offense. Phones in Belarus are uncommon (108 for every 1,000 households) and unreliable. However, they are inexpensive (for calls within the country.)

Behavioral Problems

There is a general tendency for Belarusian boys to be rambunctious (again, we've heard this from other projects but can't say that this is really a general rule in our experience). Try to keep in mind that aggressiveness is a key to survival in their home country. Belarusian fathers are often absent figures because of working two jobs, standing in line-ups, a more sexist culture, etc. Girls may take time to warm up to host fathers.

Having children a similar age as the visiting Belarusian children may cause some sibling rivalry problems. Your own children should be warned well in advance that the visitor won't speak English, and that he will require a lot of extra attention from Mom and Dad. Families with older children of their own fare well for several reasons. The older children were able to take some of the responsibility away from the parents (taking them to a movie, or bowling, etc.) and for young children, it is always a treat to hang out with older children. Host parents with no children also managed well because the visiting children received lots of attention.

Very early in the visit, it is important to establish the house rules by which you expect your visitor to abide. You are less likely to be challenged on an issue if you have been consistent from the start and have not spoiled the child with special privileges at the beginning of the visit, which can set the tone for future expectations. Some children (like our own) are very timid and may never challenge your authority. Others may become very stubborn about having to wear seat belts, putting on lifejackets or getting to sit in the front seat. One host mother laughed as she told the story of how east met West at a campground in Ontario when her eleven year-old visitor refused to take her turn in the back seat of the car. Her own three children had been kindly giving up their turns in the front seat for the first few weeks, but now wanted them back. The visitor wouldn't hear of it and refused to get into the car. The standoff between the host mother and the visitor lasted well over an hour, until finally the visitor gave in.

It is important to remember that children use two main tools to communicate - language and behavior. Their ability to use language has been reduced. Expect the behavioral expressions of feelings, wants and needs to increase. Being aware of this simple fact can often help us to adjust our own expectations of the child. Sometimes, with this in mind, behavior might not be confused with "behavioral problem"

If behavioral problems are serious, call the interpreter to try and determine the root of the difficulty.

Emergencies

In a medical or dental emergency, contact your Belarusian interpreter in charge of your child. Have your insurance number on hand to give to the doctor or hospital. We will cover all of these logistics during our host family orientation meetings.

Interpreters

Most of the interpreters are mature students and professors studying Language at the university level.

What are the interpreters' responsibilities?

All the interpreters are responsible for the well being of the children they accompany to Raleigh. They are in fact acting as the children's guardians while here.

The other aspect of their "job" is translation and interpretation duties, for the child and host family, including letters if any. Most families like to write a letter to their child's parents at the end of the summer and the interpreters try to translate these before getting on the plane home.

What are the Host Families responsibilities?

Host families must always let their interpreters know about any times the child will be away for more than a couple of days. They should contact their interpreter for any medical emergencies with their child. Remember that the interpreters have signed contracts and are legally responsible for the well-being of the kids while here. They must keep track of where everyone is at all times.

Host families should make an attempt to come to as many group events as possible. Even "veteran families" should at least come to the welcome pool party, the closing picnic, and invite the interpreter to their house or to an outing (eg, restaurant, shopping, play, etc.) sometime during the 6 weeks.  This gives the interpreter the "warm fuzzy" that everything is going OK.

Many families invite an interpreter to accompany them on trips or excursions. As when inviting someone to be your guest it is usual for the hosts to cover the costs of the event.

Interpreters' Schedule

While in Raleigh, the interpreters are a wonderful source of information on Belarus, its culture, customs and history and are happy to share this information with host families. Many families invite the interpreters for dinner or to go on outings with them which they seem to enjoy.

Phoning Belarus

We have found the most cost effective way to phone Belarus is to use 10-10-220.  This costs about $2.95 for the first 10 minutes. Further dialing instructions will be given at the host family orientation meetings.  We will post additional newsitems on this site should we discover plans that are more competitive than this.

Gifts to Send Home

Don't feel as if you must spend hundreds of dollars on your child. Some families can, but many cannot. The most important gift you can give is sharing your love for them. With a little ingenuity, you can probably get many suitable gift items without going over your budget.  In fact, many families have realized how quickly the child can be transformed into a "spoiled" child when lavished with material gifts!

The children themselves need winter clothing, coats, boots, socks and shoes. Sometimes neighbors, friends and relatives ask how they can help. You may consider asking them to buy clothes that you are not able or willing to buy. We will organize a "clothing closet" where used clothing is collected and distributed to the children before they leave. These clothing closets usually provide sufficient donated items of clothing to ensure the children can bring home items for siblings. Winter boots area very difficult to get in Belarus.

Gifts for family members can include some common everyday items - taken for granted here, but impossible to find in Belarus and greatly appreciated. Please use common sense! A new bike would be great, but how practical will it be in comparison to new winter boots? The Belarusian lifestyle is one of harsh practicality it is not filled with designer or brand name items.

Sewing kits, thread, sewing needles, knitting needles, wool, soaps, gloves, Teflon pans, cooking spices, gloves and inexpensive perfumes are all wonderful gifts for Mothers and Grandmothers. For the men in your child's family, small tool kits, wrench sets, fishing poles (that can be disassembled) fishing line, gloves and utility knives make useful and welcomed presents. Dried fruit, art supplies and school supplies are also great items to send home with your child. Photo albums are greatly appreciated. Photos of daily life and special events make it easier for a young child to recall and explain what he or she has seen while in America.

Basic health care items we take for granted are practically nonexistent in most of our children's homes. Due to the harsh climate, poor living conditions and ongoing radiation Multivitamins, Vitamin C and Tylenol are items that are extremely useful for the entire family. Some group's canvas their area drug stores for donations and discount pricing for bulk purchases, ensuring they will send a year supply of vitamins home with the children, enough for the entire family. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, antiseptics, toilet paper, Band-Aids, are for the most part very limited; these items will be appreciated. When sending ANY HEALTH CARE ITEM HOME WITH THE CHILD ENSURE A COMPLETE TRANSLATION OF THE INSTRUCTIONS IS ATTACHED TO THE CONTAINER!

If you choose to send money home with the child, send AMERICAN DOLLARS ONLY, ALL BILLS MUST BE IN PERFECT CONDITION, TORN OR WORN BILLS WILL UNACCEPTABLE IN THE MARKET PLACE. Money should be hidden inside the clothing the child wears, possibly sewn in a secret spot. Make sure your child knows where the money is so they can alert their parents when unpacking. A letter should be sent home with the child explaining the items sent home and their uses. This will ensure they are distributed and used correctly.